Second Amendment
In 1791 the US constitution was altered to allow citizens to carry automatic weapons. They also legalised the internet, atomic power, and self-driving horseless carriages. Honestly. You just have to read imaginatively, ignore any words that don’t fit your agenda, and threaten to shoot anyone who disagrees

Assault weapon
Weapon designed to attack someone. As opposed to weapon designed to compensate for small penis size in insecure men (see “Semi-Assault Weapon”)

Semi-Assault Weapon
Rifle that gets gun-owners partially aroused.

Pump action
What gun owners do when they look at pictures of big barrels

Load
What they shoot

Heckler and Koch
When someone comments on the size of gun owner’s penis

Drive-by shooter
Takes a car to a shop to buy a gun

Going postal
Orders a gun online.

Mandatory check
“Can you afford this gun?”

Hand gun
What the US does to the mentally disturbed

NRA
Hip-hop group promoting gun use

Dumdum
Member of the NRA

22
Average NRA member’s IQ

38
In the NRA they call this person “Professor”

45
“Einstein”

50
In their dreams

Open carry
“My gun’s bigger than yours” (but don’t ask about my penis)

Concealed carry
I’m secure in the size of my weapon

Cash and carry
Mandatory check

Starting pistol
A child’s first weapon

Full metal jacket
What US schoolchildren now have to wear to school

Sniper
Someone who suggests the NRA aren’t quite the full shilling

Mandatory check
They have such terrible fashion sense too

Conclusion
We’ve run out of ammunition