Showjumping

Origins
Show jumping was invented so that members of the Royal Family could win medals at the Olympics.

Horse of the Year Show
A bit boring until they let other horses compete.

Refusal
Smelly waste in the stable area.

Clean round
What they have to do in the stables to get rid of the refusal.

Four faults and a refusal
When a horse knocks a fence down then loses bowel control.

Hickstead
Equine hiccup.

Bale
What a rider has to do when their horse stops suddenly.

Fetlocks
What a show jumper says when the horse stops suddenly.

Jump-off
See bale.

Fence
Unscrupulous horse dealer who sells stolen animals.

Dismount
Choosing a horse.

Open water
What horses tend to do in the stables.

Nose-bag
What stable-hands wear to overcome the stench of the refusal.

Bridle
Wife of a male show jumper.

Groom
Former presenter of Blue Peter. Tried show jumping once.

Water jump
What a stable hand has to do amid the refusal.

Double combination
Horse and rider.

Triple combination
Someone’s hitched a ride.

Show Jumping Grand Prix
Carnage. The cars go much too fast to avoid the animals.

Oxer
Course designed for farm animals.

Tack
Small pin placed on the course by unscrupulous competitors before their opponents go out.

Penalties
Used to settle drawn events. But difficult to take in riding boots.

Reins
What the mother of the Olympic champion tends to do.

Elimination
Shooting a horse.

Conclusion
The corgis enjoy one of the losing horses at suppertime.

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