Napoleon

Origins
Napoleon rose quickly in revolutionary France. It was the noise of the guns that woke him up.

Corsican
What he said when people told him he couldn’t conquer Europe.

Napoleon brandy
A short.

A whiff of grapeshot
His alcohol consumption had unfortunate side effects.

Napoleonic code
“Not tonight Josephine” meant ” I’ve had a bit too much to drink”.

A nation of shopkeepers
Napoleon’s description of Britain. He was particularly fond of the off-licences.

The Little Corporal
Josephine’s pet name for his Bonaparte.

Rosetta stone
He found this in Egypt. It contains text in Egyptian and Greek, and reads “Napoleon go home”. Unfortunately the Egyptians couldn’t write French. Mind you, he probably would have been too pissed to read it.

Crowned himself
He’d had a bit too much to drink before the coronation and fell over.

Crowned Josephine
He could be violent after a couple of drinks, as much of Europe discovered.

1812 Overture
He liked his concerts to start early so he could start home from Moscow in good time.

Able was I ere I saw Elba
Cleverly, this phrase reads the same whether you are advancing on, or retreating from, Moscow.

Battle of the Pyramids
One of his easier victories – the ancient structures put up precious little resistance.

St Helena
Patron saint of short, inebriated soldiers with delusions of grandeur.

Exile
As an “ex” emperor, he was sent to the “île” of Elba.

Waterloo
Able was I ere I heard Abba.

Conclusion
Napoleon left France a lot. His legacy includes a legal system, a central bank, and a huge bar bill.

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