Origins
The first haircut was on Samson went for a job interview as a temple demolisher. It was done by…

Delilah
Like many girlfriends, she thought she could cut hair, but the result made Samson weak at the knees.

Curling-tong
As in “it’s all gone curling-tong, Delilah”…

Number one
Bad haircut.

Number two
Even worse haircut.

Something for the weekend
A hat.

Parting
Inevitable result of girlfriend cutting hair.

Henna
Anglo-Saxon stylist. Had lots of regulars.

Salon
What Wild West hairdressers said instead of goodbye.

Peroxide
Swedish barber.

Wig
Old politicians used to sport hairpieces.

Bob
What women do a lot of after an expensive hairstyle.

Mullet
What you should do for a long while before deciding on short on top, long at the back.

Plait
Style popularised by England midfielder. See “Mullet”

Extensions
Fitted to scissors for very tall clients.

Wedge cut
When the scissors are blunt.

Feather cut
Even more inefficient.

Corn rows
If you have these in your hair then you need a different shampoo.

Blue rinse
When a pen falls into the sink.

Shampoo and set
When cement falls into the sink.

Touching up the roots
When a tree falls into the sink.

Blow dry
Time-consuming before electricity was invented.

Fringe
Experimental hairdressing.

Backcomb
Designed to get more backspin on the comb during Wimbledon fortnight.

Gel
Young hair-stylist.

Trim
What gels often are.

Permanent wave
Employed by friendly gel.

Coiffure
You get this in high-class stylists. But you can have tea if you prefer.

Hairdo
Hairdressing party.

Barber
Green raincoat designed for alfresco styling.

Streaks
Speciality of naturist salons.

Highlights
Short haircutting video.

Short back and sides
Odd-looking stylist.

Fade
Old hairdressers do this.

Conclusion
It grows back.