Age
Iraq is one of the oldest places in the world, and existed while other countries were masses of lava and ruled by dragons, like Wales.

Location
Iraq lies between two rivers, the Tiger and the Hugh Frates. Hugh Frates was one of the first British explorers and had a river named after him. In the middle the Iraqis had created the first civilisation known to man. That man was Hugh Frates

Sinbad
A thief from Baghdad stole 1,001 knights and turned them into huge clay jars. Sinbad discovered them but the knights became skeletons which sprang up from the ground and attacked him. He was rescued by Orca the Killer Whale.

Ali Baba
Baghdad’s most popular hairdresser.

War
Iraq had a long war with Iran, caused by the fact that people kept getting confused between the two countries’ names. Even now, no-one is sure whether it was the Iran-Iraq war or the Iraq-Iran war. Iran was also only next door so no-one had to go very far to have a battle, meaning they could use taxis instead of tanks.

Turbans
Type of headgear worn in towns and cities.

Fatwah
The heaviest man in Iraq, Wah regularly consumes his own weight in sheep’s eyeballs.

Al Jazeera TV
Local transvestite who sang Iraq’s 2003 Eurovision entry “Save All Your Cous Cous For Me”.

Conclusion
Iraq is home to the ancient city of Babylon (or, as we know it today, Scotland Yard), as well as Ur, which was named by a very indecisive ancient town planner. People say Iraq was also home to the Garden of Eden, but we don’t Adam and Eve it.