Bathrooms

Origins
Bathrooms were invented when showers began to take over from the tin bath in the living room. One misdirected jet could put the fire right out.

Taps
Discreet knock on the bathroom door to make sure no one’s in there.

Hot Tap
It’s urgent.

Cold Tap
You’ve almost given up hope.

Sink
What your heart does when a voice says they’ll be ages yet.

Mirror
Every morning it features your very own portrait of Dorian Grey.

Wet shaver
Person scared of a razor.

Electric shaver
They’re in a hurry.

Shaving cream
The best shavers in the country.

Shower head
Cleanliness addict.

Shower cap
The leader of a group of shower heads.

Power shower
The Government.

Bathroom cabinet
Headed by the Minister for Cleanliness.

Loofah
Short segment of a tune you hum in the shower.

Jacuzzi
Essay on bathrooms by Emile Zola.

Lather
He got into one.

Soap
Speech by Minister for Cleanliness.

Sunken bath
Can happen when you put too much water in it.

Towel rail
“It’s still wet!”

Flannel
Unconvincing explanation as to why the towel wasn’t hung out to dry.

Hand towel
Receiving a dry one.

Cold shower
Icelandic government.

Loo brush
Common hazard in smaller bathrooms.

Loo roll
When you’ve brushed against it too hard and fallen over.

Plug hole
How to stop your next door neighbour being a voyeur.

Bath salts
What the navy has to do.

Queue
Asking for the bathroom in Spain.

Overflow
Sometimes the corridor outside the bathroom can get very crowded.

Conclusion
Sorry, we’ll be finished in a minute.

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