Promiscuous trilobite 500 million years ago.

The Beagle
The voyage took five years, as dogs are not good at swimming long distances.

Galapagos Tortoise
Even this would have been quicker.

Natural Selection
Being picked for the voyage on the Beagle because you’re a good sailor.

Artificial selection
Getting a friend to put a good word in.

Sexual selection
Sleeping with the Captain.

Darwin often worked in the nude.

Darwin’s breakthrough. The word is so close to “fishes” that he deduced one evolved from the other.

Evolutionary Tree
Started out as a stinging nettle.

Person who copied his theory.

Darwin’s father was a top doctor.

Dusty old academics who disapproved of his theories.

Down House
He moved here when he was depressed by all the criticism.

Cry of anguish at all the criticism. Later used by Captain Haddock in the Tintin books in “blistering barnacles”, a clear example of evolution.

Process by which the Scots and Welsh are now considered intelligent enough to have their own parliaments.

Field notes
He noted they were often flat with lots of grass.

Womble. Thought to have evolved from Bulgaria.

Marry, not marry
His list of the pros and cons of marriage. The cons contained: “could evolve into her mother”.

Affectionate term for his children.

How he described his family to Geordies.

Divine design
Did the interiors on the Beagle.

Intelligent design
Theory that claims someone really meant to create diseases and wasps, and to put funny bones on elbows where they hurt a lot.

Social Darwinism
Sharing a curry after growing another limb.

Evolution continues, except in certain states of the USA.

One thought on “Darwin”

  1. Billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles in a thundering typhoon! 😉


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