Eskimos

Origins
Eskimos like to eat seals, dress in layers of fur and live in ice-houses. They’ve tried this lifestyle in several regions, but the only place it seems to work is near the North Pole.

Igloo
House named after the sticky stuff that holds ice-bricks together.

Glacier
Man who puts windows in igloos.

Ice shelf
What eskimos put their knick-knacks on.

Inuit
Slang expression young Eskimos put at the end of every sentence, inuit.

Ice-hole
Much worse, abusive, slang.

Nose-rubbing
Time-consuming way of copying church brasses.

Sealskin
Clothes made from the relatives of seals

Arctic
Insect that gets into furry undergarments.

Fur-trapper
Vicious zip in arctic trousers.

Blubber
What you do after an accident with the fur-trapper.

Walrus
For extra warmth, Eskimos often wear a semi-aquatic mammal on their face.

Blizzard
Arctic reptile.

Seal club
You don’t want to belong to it.

Kayak
Transport device made by crossing a small Ford motor car and a Tibetan quadriped.

Iceberg
Jewish Eskimo.

Husky
How Eskimo women sound.

Team of huskies
A male Eskimo’s lucky day.

Arctic tundra
What you get with arctic lightning.

Snow drift
When snow loses its sense of purpose and career structure.

Ice block
Lack of inspiration for an Eskimo writer.

Whiteout
When an Eskimo writer corrects a typing error.

Conclusion
The Eskimos’ way of life is doomed because they can never get a hot meal inside them. Every time they light a campfire it disappears into a hole.

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