Flying was invented by the Wright Brothers because ships were too restful, comfortable, and civilised.
Pilots get these after learning to fly. Some also get fuselages, cockpits, and tails.
Take off, carry on a bit, then land.
Often receding in older pilots.
Room in the cockpit for a quiff.
Also recedes in older pilots.
What a pilot does with his wages.
Seat at the front of the plane.
What a good pilot does on the map round the destination.
Pushing a trolley through a jumbo jet.
Gets rid of hunger pangs at a stroke. As long as you don’t eat it.
You’ve eaten the in-flight meal, haven’t you?
Yes, you have.
Film shown on long journeys.
Repeat offender with a Stanley knife.
Nervous flyers will grab onto anything.
Sticking your head outside at 33,000 feet going at 420 mph.
Essential to the bracing position.
When the crew have an argument with a drunk passenger.
Used to deal with drunk passengers.
Everybody ate the in-flight meal.
In an emergency, designed to fall open and knock passengers unconscious so they won’t panic.
What bad pilots end up in.
Flying is a great way to get to faraway places, as long as you don’t mind arriving without your luggage, with a blood clot, and with intestinal juices staining your shirt.