Cameras

Invention
The first camera was in fact Brownie in a box. She had been given a pencil and some paper and was told to draw whatever she saw when a black curtain was pulled back.

Camera Obscura
Where she was hidden.

Light Meter
Early cameras were very heavy. This was used to measure how much they weighed.

Exposure
What many subjects got in the early days because they had to stand still for so long to have their picture taken.

Shutter
Person who blinks at the wrong moment when having a photo taken.

Wind on
Carrying on regardless despite the fact everyone keeps blinking.

Red-eye
Photographers in the Wild West often took to drink because everyone kept blinking.

Flash gun
Colt 45 revolver that they ended up pointing at their subjects to make them stand still and stop blinking.

Focal length
Amount of time the subjects eventually managed to stand still.

Frame
Claiming someone else made you blink.

35 mill
The first modern camera. It was really expensive.

SLR
Disease you get from dirty cameras.

Compact
Camera designed for ladies that also had a powder puff in it.

Digital camera
When you get your photos back and find you had your finger over the lens.

F-stop
When you have to resist swearing when you get your photos back and find you had your finger over the lens.

Autofocus
System designed to keep photographs of cars sharp.

Manual focus
Keeps photographs of hands sharp.

Spot focus
You don’t want to know.

Telephoto lens
Takes pictures of the TV. Useful before the invention of video recorders.

Macro lens
Made of lentils and alfalfa.

Conclusion
They say the camera never lies. But we’re quite good-looking, actually…

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Not FOR beginners, but BY beginners…

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