Joan of Arc

Joan was born in Domremy. This is short for Domremy Fah-Soh-Lah-Ti-Doh.

Maid of Orleans
She came to prominence when she started tidying up battlefields on her way home from school.

Until then, the French army was going to rack and Rouen.

The besieged Frenchmen at Orleans were very relieved to find they could now lose more neatly.

Hundred Years’ War
Forerunner of the US invasion of Iraq.

Battle for the throne
With all the English pretenders, no one could get in the royal bathroom.

Imagining the chaos, Joan announced that God told her it was OK to miss school to deal with the invaders.

But it took loads of paper to get her mother’s signature right on the note.

She had to have the patience of one. Every time she cleaned up a battlefield, another army arrived and made it messy again.

Joan had to ride sidesaddle in full armour.

It always took her several goes to get on.

One of the ways she beat the English was to use artillery.

Joan’s armour was particularly scary as it featured a padded leather blazer, chain-mail pinnie and a blood-soaked satchel.

Really a ruler.

The King’s favour
She brought him an apple.

Joan was eventually caught by the Burgundians, which is particularly painful in full armour. This followed a skirmish in her rearguard, which isn’t nice in itself.

Much of what Joan was accused of was based on heresy evidence.

Joan eventually met her match.

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