Volcanoes

Origins
Early man thought that, when volcanoes erupted, the gods were angry. These days, it is homeowners who are angry when they discover that their insurance doesn’t cover “acts of god”.

Pompeii
Buried by ash in 79AD, preserving the inhabitants in whatever they were doing at the time. In many cases this was running Hades for leather shouting: “I told you it was going to blow” in Latin.

Dormant
What most Pompeiians were when Vesuvius erupted.

Active
What they quickly became.

Extinct
But not quickly enough.

Crater
Person who packed the valuables of people who left in time.

Volcanic spring
The more athletic of those running away did this.

Lava
The Welsh eat hot rock as bread.

Volcanic ash
Pressure group trying to ban volcanoes.

Vulcanologist
Member of the kamikaze wing of the geological profession

Magma
What people on the slopes of Mount Etna mutter when it rumbles. Generally followed by “Mia!”.

Eruption
Worrying about when your house is going to be flattened by flying rock can bring you out in spots.

Olympus Mons
Volcano on Mars. It is curious that we should know what it is called, but there you are.

Vesuvius
Latin for “I knew it would blow!”

Krakatoa
Javanese for “Yes, but I didn’t think it would be THAT big!”

Etna
Sicilian for “Oo-er…”

Pumice
Small rodents found on the slopes of volcanoes. When they harden they can be used in the bath to rub ash off the skin.

Conclusion
Devastation. Next time you’ll read the insurance policy small print.

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