Prehistoric men used to cut holes in their skulls. Archaeologists took this as evidence of early medicine. In fact it is evidence of early hangovers.
“Damn, I didn’t mean to cut that off!” Dr Hippocrates was very clumsy.
Deciding you’re going to do some surgery tomorrow.
Doing it by mail.
Piece of paper needed to order more anaesthetic.
Surgeon who doesn’t believe in a God.
Shows which surgeons have been out with which nurses.
What a surgeon says when a female nurse has a new hairdo.
Nurse’s reaction to being chatted up by the surgeon.
What the surgeon gets in a sterile atmosphere.
Patient nervous because the surgeon’s not paying enough attention.
For very nervous patients who don’t want to be in the same room as the surgeon.
Handsome renal patient the nurse is dating.
What a surgeon can get in their muscles during a long procedure.
Feature of Native American medicine.
Performed on Yetis.
So expensive you need your credit card
Bit at the back of the surgeon’s manual.
Unruly sailors who assist with operations at sea.
Rap music on the surgeon’s iPod.
When the doctor takes a look at your injuries and purses his mouth while inhaling deeply.
You need this like a hole in the head
Necessary if the patient has sat on a floral display.
Close up, nurse.
That surgeon’s still on the pull.
Most of the time the patient comes round. And sometimes the nurse does, too.