Elvis Presley

Beginnings
Discovered by a Colonel Sanders eating large amounts of cheeseburgers in the Tupelo, Mississippi branch of KFC.

Wife
Married his sweetheart, Priscilla Queen of the Dessert, a waitress.

Movies
His first film, Love Me Tender, was about the best way of preparing a steak.

First hit
“You Ain’t Nothing But A Hot Dog”, written when he misheard Col Sanders suggest he should “write something about a girl” as “write something about a grill”.

Sun studios
Elvis couldn’t afford a proper recording studio, so his first discs were cut in his back garden.

Heartbreak Hotel
Eventually the noise was so great Elvis was forced to move out into a local rooming house. But his girlfriend didn’t like it, and left him.

Mr Ed Sullivan Show
TV programme presented by a talking horse. The horse was so tall that the camera couldn’t get down to film Elvis lower than his waist, leading to conspiracy theories that he didn’t have a pelvis.

Draft
Elvis ate so much that, eventually, Col Sanders decided he would be better off in the Army. Unfortunately, the Army sent him to the beer capital of the world, Germany.

Rhinestones
Gastric complaint he got as a result of all the beer.

Hits
Elvis had more number ones and number twos than any other singer. This was because of all cheeseburgers.

Elvis has left the building
When he ate enough burgers so that he didn’t have to start on the bricks and mortar.

Conclusion
Many people refuse to accept the singer is dead. “Elvis lives”, they say, proving that, despite their stupidity, then can still do simple anagrams.

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