Spying

Origins
Started with James Bond. The most successful spy of all time, Bond avoids detection by changing his appearance every few years.

Intelligence
Needed to remember not to leave a laptop containing vital secret information in the back of a taxi.

Intelligence gathering
Retrieving all the bits of equipment left in taxis.

Cambridge
The city of dreaming spies. Most agents are recruited here after failing the Footlights audition. The only other clubs worth joining are rambling or the KGB.

Double agents
What a spy sees after too many Martinis.

Undercover
Spy having a lie-in after too many Martinis.

Sleeper
It’s a really bad hangover.

Losing one’s cover
When M calls round to get you up.

Deep cover
Way of trying to hide from M.

Cover story
The front page of “Spying Weekly”: “Spy Sacked For Sleeping On The Job”.

Handler
Inexperienced spy who leaves fingerprints all over the place.

Eavesdropping
Inexperienced spy falling from the roof while trying to overhear a conversation.

Letter-drop
Spyig.

Defect
When a Walther PPK jams.

Wire-tap
Turns on the electricity.

Microdot
Tiny female agent.

Wearing a wire
Microdot in a G-string.

Stella Rimington
Microdot’s ladyshave.

Microfilm
Video surveillance of Microdot.

Concealed weapon
Is that really a Walther PPK in your trouser pocket?

Secret Service
When spies get married.

Triple agents
Often results from spies using IVF.

GCHQ
Basic spying qualification.

CIA
Farewell from an Italian spy.

Counter-intelligence
Spy with a calculator.

Spy ring
“Hello Moneypenny. Is M about?”.

Conclusion
Sorry, we left this in the back of a taxi.

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