Anglo-Saxon term for someone who looks after, or “guards” a “ner”, which is the ancient word for garden. This comes from medieval women asking their husbands if they were going to scythe the lawn this Sunday, and being told: “Ner”.
Gardens used to be suspended from walls, most notably at Babylon. Now they are often on the ground. In the 17th century the discovery of crop rotation resulted in spinning gardens, but these proved unstable (though they did give birth to the rockery).
Alan Titchmarsh, Diarmuid Gavin, Charlie Dimmock and so on.
1970s-style gardener with bouffant hair.
Gardeners who spy on others.
Punching a gardener who has been spying on you.
To tell on a gardener who has decked you.
Gardener who is mad, bad, and dangerous to hoe.
Used for burning rubbish, unless Charlie Dimmock has put it on for once.
Hanging around the garden not doing much.
Having a crafty fag behind the shed.
When you’re so busy outside you don’t wash up for six weeks.
Commissioning executive who cancelled “The Flowerpot Men”.
Next door’s tomcat.
Crops hidden in your garden by rival gardeners.
Sending manure to rival gardeners.
Fixing a decent lock to the entrance.
What Japanese gardeners shouted before they attacked Pearl Harbour’s window-box.
Next door’s tomcat again.
What you use for a roof garden.
Result of extreme frustration when your partner leaves because you’ve spent too much time in the cabbage patch.
Gardening brings little bit of the great outdoors to our doorsteps. And to our kitchen floors, hallways, and living room carpets.