Unemployment

Origins
And on the eighth day, He was unemployed.

Sack
What unemployed people wore in Biblical times. Often accessorised with ashes.

Job
Very patient in his search for work.

Notice
What you need to do if the boss starts being uncomfortable in your company.

Cards
Have the motto, “in deepest sympathy at the loss of your employment”.

Benefits
Being able to stay in bed late.

Early retirement
You can sleep in the afternoons, too.

CV
Type of French car that is all you’ll be able to afford now.

Temporary job
Aren’t they all?

Constructive dismissal
Losing your job on a building site.

Unfair dismissal
Losing your job on a building site when it wasn’t you who dropped the brick on the foreman.

Statutory dismissal
Losing your job as a robot in Covent Garden.

Severance
The French woman in Human Resources you never heard from while you had a job.

P45
The computer that has taken over your job.

Leaving party
You.

Voluntary redundancy
Losing your job as a trumpet player.

Unemployment figures
Leading lights in the world of idle, lazy scroungers.

Unemployment statistics
If you’re a glamour model, anything less than 34C.

Mass unemployment
When the whole choir finds itself out of a job.

Giro
Communal pen on the end of a metal chain, used to fill in application forms.

Work-shy
Being forced to take a post in a funfair as a coconut technician.

Conclusion
A pen, a piece of paper, a window ledge…

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Not FOR beginners, but BY beginners…

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