Punting

Origins
Punting is one of the most famous pastimes in the university town of Oxbridge. It derives from the practice of paying Irish labourers in their native currency to use long sticks to search for depressed students (known as Oxbridge blues) who have thrown themselves off river bridges in a bid to amuse themselves.

River Cam
Originally used to help spot the students in the water.

Bow
What a polite male punter does.

Stern
If a woman looks back like this, he won’t be punting with her.

Pole
In a survey of 300 Oxbridge students, 223 said they would much rather be on a punt.

The Backs
Popular venue for punting. Named after part of the body on which female students can find themselves during an excursion.

Flat bottoms
Hazard of being in the Backs.

Pulling and twisting your pole
Essential to escape a good drenching.

Picnic hamper
When you can’t manoeuvre your punt next to the bank to get out and eat.

Cream flannels
Useful to clean up after an accident with your strawberries.

Champagne
Opening a bottle in the right direction can significantly aid propulsion. Consuming the contents can have the opposite effect on navigation.

Blazer
Small portable fire designed for winter punting.

Boater
The French for “to boat”.

Plimsoll line
If you can see the punter’s feet, then the punt isn’t overloading.

River bed
Alternative name for a punt.

Conclusion
One may now punt in America, New Zealand, and India. Indeed, it is possible to punt all around the world. Mind you, it would take a while.

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Not FOR beginners, but BY beginners…

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