Grand Canyon, The

Origins
The canyon got its name when it was discovered by a tour party from Yorkshire. They also dubbed it “a reet big hole in t’ground”, but this epithet failed to catch on.

Hopi
Native American inhabitants of the Canyon, so named because moccasins offer little protect against the heat of the rocks.

Indian reservation
The Hopi don’t like people making fun of their name.

Rugged natural features
Stereotyping of the locals is also discouraged.

Skywalk
Glass-floored observation platform 4,000ft up above the canyon bed, and which wobbles slightly, built by Native Americans to attract palefaces. If they’re not palefaced before they go on it, they certainly are by the time they crawl off.

National Park
The Grand Canyon is a place where Americans flock to leave their SUVs.

Precambrian rocks
The kind of thing their kids say.

Gorge
They eat a lot while they’re there.

Plate tectonics
The process whereby the shifting of large masses has created the pile of cardboard off which they have all eaten.

Canyon Walls
Ice Cream firm that does good business in the area.

Colorado River Rapids
Unfortunate result of white-water rafting after cheeseburger and fries.

Colorado Plateau
Ham, eggs, beans, hash browns, and grits.

California Condor
Has recently been reintroduced the Canyon. It is very tasty with a white sauce.

Mules
These are provided for people wanting the explore to area, but are too much for all but the heartiest appetite.

Conclusion
The Grand Canyon is not the biggest in the Solar System There is a bigger one on Mars. It may also be visited by more intelligent beings.

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