Capital city and the pride of the Mayoress Miss Jean Brodie who is so old she is known as Old Creaky. Called the Athens of the north, by people who haven’t seen Athens.

Place where there’s not much to do but toss the caber.

Tossing the caber
Saps your energy if you do it before a run.

Scottish seafood

McDonalds and Campbells
Had a battle over territory. One wanted a burger bar and the other a soup kitchen. Eventually Ronald McDonald triumphed over Glen Campbell, who had to move to Phoenix without telling his wife.

Caledonian grandparents.

Twinned with Baghdad.

Loch Ness
What they have to do every night to stop the monster stealing the water.

Isle of Skye
Scottish remake of I Love Lucy starring Ewan McGregor.

Scottish soup invented by Paul McCartney.

1745 Rebellion
A particularly nasty fight in The William Wallis-Simpson public house in a small mountain village when the landlord, a Mr Tam O’Shanter, tried to end the traditional happy-hour at quarter to six. This became known as the Highland Clearance.

What Scots frogs do in the spring.

Money to buy sausages and bacon

The Order of the Thistle
T, H, I…

We’re doomed!
What passes for optimism north of the border.

Tell you Friday morning.

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Not FOR beginners, but BY beginners…