Canada

Origins
The British and the French fought over Canada. Neither wanted it.

Description
Like the USA but without the interesting bits. Why neither Britain nor France wanted it.

Viking settlements
The Danes had arrived about a thousand years before. They got bored and didn’t stay long.

Great Lakes
Part of Canada that is mildly interesting due to the size of its inland waters. We said “mildly”.

Nova Scotia
Even choosing hoity-toity Latin names doesn’t make it more interesting.

Seal clubbing
Many Canadians get irritated that animals look like they’re having a better time.

Newfoundland
Now Oldfoundland. But Canadians are to busy bashing seals to death to rename it.

Niagara Falls
The water is said to be a sexual stimulant.

Curling
In the absence of other entertainment, Hairdressing is taken to competitive levels.

Lacrosse
As are puzzles in French-Canadian newspapers.

Ice-hockey
North Canadian love-bite common after Niagara.

Bilingual
Canadians are unusual in that, if something sounds a bit tedious in one language, they are allowed officially to have a go at finding out if it sounds more interesting in another.

Mounties
What Canadian children call mountains.

Rockies
What Canadian children call rocks.

Prairies
What Canadian children call going to church.

Famous Canadians
Just like famous Belgians all live in France, they all live in the USA.

Toronto
Indian sidekick for mounted policeman.

Huskies
What Canadian children call smokers.

Canada Act 1982
Involved Pierre Trudeau singing “My Way” while juggling four seal pups and standing on a beach ball.

Conclusion
French Canadians would like to belong to a different country. Who can blame them?

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