Created by
Gene, Rod and Chuck Berry as “Wagon Train to the Stars”, it had to be renamed after the horses suffocated in space.

Starfleet Academy
Spinoff programme from ‘Starfleet’s Got Talent’.

USS Enterprise
It’s five-year mission was OVER 42 YEARS AGO!!! And yet there’s another film out. THAT’s enterprise for you.

Captain Kirk
The. CAP. Tain. OF. The. Star. Ship. ENTER. Prise.

Scotty
His dog.

Bones
What Scotty liked to gnaw on.

Vulcan
Type of rubber use to make Spock’s prosthetic ears.

Illogical
To have an alien planet named after a Roman god from Earth.

Chekov
Wrote the first series. Then “The Cherry Orchard”.

Uhura
Named after the noise the male members of the cast made when she sat down in that miniskirt.

Seven of Nine
Ten out of ten, more like!

Neelix
Some species have strange ways of greeting visitors.

Holographic Doctor
Still easier to see than an NHS one.

Dr Crusher
Didn’t save many lives.

Mr Geordi La Forge
Ships blacksmith. Famous for his catchphrase “Why aye, who wants a horse-shoe!?”.

Borg
Onboard toilet.

Worf
What people do into the borg after a night on the Klingon blood wine.

Q Continuum
There’s a long line for the borg. Everyone’s been on the Klingon blood wine.

Alpha quadrant
First class cabin area with ensuite borgs.

First contact
What you’d like to make with Seven of Nine.

To boldly go where no man has gone before
Seven of Nine again.

Ready room
You’ve booked the cabin.

Wormhole
What Seven of Nine calls you when you try to make first contact.

Romulan cloaking device
Designed to hide holes in the plot.

Warp drive
Propulsion system using plot holes to travel quickly from one scene to another.

Photon torpedo
Picture of a missile.

Primary directive
All aliens between the ages of 5 and 9 have to go to school.

Neutral zone
Part of the starship engine’s gearbox.

Stuck in the neutral zone
Very irritating if you are trying to move away from intersteallar traffic lights.

Landing party
Saturday nights in the corridors of the crew quarters are a good crack.

Vulcan mind-melt
When Spock gets his prosthetics too close to a hot impulse drive.

Damage report
Bang!

Teleport
Where you plug the TV in.

Conclusion
Live long and prosper. Well, everyone apart from the bloke you’ve never seen before in the bright red uniform on the away mission.