Cookery

Origins
Cookery was invented by Mrs Beeton, who wrote a book after she found her puddings roasted during the Great Fire of London.

Ingredients
List of items designed to include at least one thing you don’t have in your cupboard.

Recipe
Place in Brazil famous for ingredients.

Cook book
Substituting inferior ingredients.

Food Groups
The Platters, Marmalade and Bread

Baking
A hot kitchen.

Boiling
Even hotter kitchen.

Grilling
What you get from the family when you burn the meal.

Stirrer
Someone who says they told you the oven was too hot.

Flambéing
Cooking in a garishly over the top manner, common at barbecues.

Drizzling
Weather common during barbecues.

Apron
Only place on an airfield where it is safe to do a barbecue.

Spatula
Knee bone used as medieval cooking implement.

Banquet
Ghostly chef who turned up at medieval feasts.

Side salad
Way women used to have to sit to eat as they were not allowed to straddle chairs.

Starter
Referee in a cookery competition.

Main
Used to power the microwave oven.

Dessert
When the family finally give up on the food being edible.

Roux
Sauce designed to accompany baked marsupial.

Tossing the salad
Getting confused on Pancake Day.

Conclusion
Cookery is the new rock’n’roll. In fact, everything is the new rock’n’roll except for rock’n’roll. And Jamie Oliver’s pop band.

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Not FOR beginners, but BY beginners…

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