Telephones were invented by Alexander Graham Bell, from where we get the expression “give us a Bell”. It’s a good job his surname wasn’t “Poke-in-the-Arm”.
Queen Victoria thought it beneath herself to dial and employed a man called Anthony to do it for her.
She liked to make a lot of calls.
She was not amused at the suggestion.
Ringing work to say you have flu.
What you tell them.
Becoming distracted while talking on the phone.
The complete expression of Pi.
One that a circus strongman has ripped in half.
Scientists have miniaturised handsets to an amazing degree.
The earliest mobile phones were so heavy they needed an engine and wheels.
The future’s Orange
It’s the microwaves from all the cellphone masts.
You order a sandwich on a bad line and it comes without lettuce.
Phoning for drugs.
Part of the coat of arms of the guild of telephone engineers.
“It is not the job of government to regulate charges for mobile roaming abroad”
Trying to avoid the bailiffs after you get the bill for using your phone abroad.
Force acting on you as you parachute out of a helicopter in a desperate attempt to shake off the bailiff.
Left by the bailiffs telling you that you can’t run for ever.
What you need these days to find the number for Directory Enquiries.
Sorry, hang on– there’s someone on the other line…