Party games were invented when a prehistoric parent found they hadn’t got enough seats in their cave and had to invent Musical Rocks.
Old fashioned. Now they just give you a card saying they tried to kiss you but you were out.
When postmen claim they really did knock.
Pass the Parcel
Played by postmen’s children.
Played by cabinet-makers’ children.
Pin the Tail on the Donkey
Played by vivisectionists’ children.
Blind Man’s Buff
Doesn’t realise he’s come to the party completely naked while everyone else has clothes on. Very cruel.
When you open a card at the front door and the wind catches the fiver inside.
It’s landed in the garden somewhere.
It wasn’t a fiver after all.
In which in five moves “I’d like some trifle” becomes “How much longer are we going to play this stupid game, where’s the cider?”.
Pass the Balloon
Who ate a balloon?
What the oldest boys do to try to buy cider
Who am I?
Often played after they succeed and everyone’s had a couple of glasses.
Spin the Bottle
Now there’s cider all over the sofa.
The CD’s playing, they’re all drinking cider, there’s a wet patch on the sofa, and the host’s parents have come in.
What the host faces.
It wasn’t him.
What Simon gets called by everyone else.
Their parents try to find all the illicit cider.
Everyone blames Simon and he gets sent to bed early every night for a week. But doesn’t mind because he’s hidden the cider under his mattress.