Origins
Thinking was invented by the Ancient Greeks. Before then, the most people did with their heads was to cut holes in them looking for the pretty pictures.

Socrates
Thought about football, which made his fellow players consider him a genius. Unfortunately, he couldn’t write. This is also like lots of football players.

Plato
Thought a lot about love without having sex. Short-sighted.

Aristotle
Taught Alexander the Great, who got GCSE grade one empire-building at the age of seven. Reportedly died because he threw himself into the sea because he couldn’t understand the tides. Or breast stroke.

Descartes
Proved that some footballers do not exist.

The big questions
Who are we? What is God? Where did I put my keys?

Bertrand Russell
His “History of Western Philosophy” is a very useful work, especially when the door won’t stay open.

Nietzsche
Created Superman, who shows how even being able to see through walls and clothing does not make you happy because you still have to save the world every five minutes to impress your girlfriend.

Jean Paul Sartre
Three of the French Beatles, with the exception of Ringeau.

Marshall McLuhan
Became a philosopher after a medium gave him a message. The message was “being a lawman is dangerous”.

Alain de Botton
Has written about how philosophy can help people in their ordinary life get over their problems. Like becoming so famous that no one laughs at your name any more.

Conclusion
Philosophy lectures are not popular. They can result in the sound of only one hand clapping.