Lions

Pride
Organisation of gay lions.

Three Lions
Gay love triangle.

Paw
Daddy lion.

Cub
Lion in a woggle and shorts.

Claws
Lion that only appears at Christmas.

Game reserve
Where the spare monopoly sets are kept.

Roar
Not everyone is allowed into the reserve.

Diet
Used to include Christians. Less so now.

Mane
What lions eat after a starter.

White lion
When a big cat says it’s not going to eat you.

Pack of lions
When they tell you one fib after another.

Prey
What other animals do when they see a hungry lion.

King of the Jungle
Winner of “I’m a Celebrity Lion, Get Me Out of Here”.

Liger
Gun favoured by Nazi lions.

Tigon
Lion in an open-necked shirt.

Daniel
Survived being thrown into the lions’ den. Scholars now believe this was because the lions were watching a particularly good game of football and had had a couple too many beers.

Androcles
Pioneered lion chiropody.

Wimoweh
A particularly tired lion in the jungle. The mighty jungle.

Heraldic Lion
Extremely bad at hunting due to its habit standing on its back legs and playing a trumpet, which tends to frighten the food away.

Barbary lion
One that cuts other lions’ manes.

Man-eater
Slutty lioness.

Simba
African percussion instrument.

Lion skin
One that shaves its mane, wears Doc Martens boots, and terrorises smaller animals.

Lion baiting
Required for very big fish. You need a big hook, though.

Lion tamer
Idiot.

Seigfried and Roy
See?

Conclusion
Lions are classed as big cats. And they sure are, daddio!

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