Nelson

Mal de mere
Nelson inherited seasickness from his mother. He got very cross with the French for continually making him have to go on the water.

Lady Hamilton
His beautiful mistress. This made him even more cross with the French for making him have to go off to the Nile, Copenhagen, Trafalgar etc.

One eye, one arm, one ball
What Nelson was reputedly left with by the end of his life. This was due to Napoleon’s scheme to shoot bits off the English hero and assemble them into his own, French, super-admiral.

Half Nelson
All Napoleon got.

“England expects”
An Admiral not to keep being seasick all over the place.

“I see no ships”
Nelson was leaning over the railing at the time.

Battle of Trafalgar
Nelson showed he was a master tactician by standing on top of a huge pillar so he could see the whole battlefield.

Nelsons Column
He supplied The Times every week with details of how the war was going.

HMS Victory
Clever name designed to make the Battle of Trafalgar a foregone conclusion. The French fell into the trap and named their flagship Le Whopping Defeat.

“Kismet, Hardy”
As Nelson lay dying, Captain Oliver Hardy tried to take his mind off the pain by asking him what his favourite Hollywood musical was.

Conclusion
Nelson is remembered every year on Trafalgar Day. And every day when new naval recruits shout his first name over the railings: “Horatiooo!”.

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