In 1770 Thomas Cook’s cruise ships stumbled on Sydney Opera House, which was lucky as the ship’s cabaret, Van Dieman’s Band, had the night off.

When anyone in Britain was sentenced to death, they were given the chance to start a new life in Australia instead. Due to congestion at the gallows, many had to settle for Australia.

What the colonists used to steal land from the Aborigines.

The only time they got their land back.

Burke and Wills
Grave robbers who got lost in Melbourne cemetery and didn’t turn up again until they wandered into Queensland.

The Outback
Or, if you’re facing the other way, the Infront.

Bondi beach
Sandy area where sunbathers dress in leather, chains, and whips.

Sydney Harbour Bridge
Silly name for a man.

Sydney’s wife.

Wife of Pa Supial.

Crocodile Dundee
Dangerous teatime treat.

Australian policeman.

Don Bradman
Head of the Aussie mafia. Became a cricketer. Umpires would be too scared of waking up next to a wombat’s head that they would never give him out.

What Australian women shout when they’ve filled their card.

What it is when Australian men finally find THAT spot.

Bush tucker
Move on, nothing to see here.

Where a kooka lives.

Naturally occurring implement for playing cricket.

Advance Australia Fair
If you’re dark-skinned they won’t let your boat land.

Great Barrier Reef
Designed to keep Australia fair.

Fair dinkum
Dinkum that is allowed into Australia.

Modern Australia began as a colony for criminals. Their descendants have gone on to give us Iggy Azalea, Neighbours and Home and Away. Some things never change.

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