Tag Archives: weather

Summer

Sweat
Course it is. Sraining.

Windbreak
There isn’t one. Or a rainbreak.

Sun tan lotion
Research has shown that it often doesn’t work properly. Not a problem in the UK.

Sun hat
Cloud.

Longest day
Rain, rain, and more rain.

Knotted handkerchief
Helps you remember the good old days when we did have summers.

Sunburn
Setting a newspaper alight to keep warm.

Flip flops
Weather forecasters who keep changing their mind about when summer will actually start.

Heat stroke
Swimming really fast to keep warm.

Prickly heat
Kind of summer that is very touchy about not being warm enough.

UV
WXYZ. Alphabet recited to try to decrease your annoyance at the lack of sun.

Shorts
You take refuge in spirits to warm you up.

Lounger
You have to stay in because of the rain.

Deck chair
What you do in frustration at all the rain.

High pressure
Getting really annoyed it won’t stop raining.

Barometer
Measure of how many times you’ve gone to the pub in frustration at the terrible weather.

Parasol
You’ve got such headache you have to take one of these.

Holiday
What you need to get away from the English summer.

Tan line
You dial the travel agent.

Blue sky
What you see from your aeroplane as you break through the clouds on your way to your holiday.

Muggy
Cat on a hot tin roof.

Humid
Character from Harry Potter.

Beachball
Affliction caused by nude sunbathing.

UV Rays
Sunglasses worn in large American cars.

Conclusion
Usually mid-June.